Baby Talk Does it Help or HURT my family.
This segment will analyze the idea
of “Baby Talk”. This is in regards to the cute fun way parents and other family
members basically dummy down their speech when speaking to a child. Don’t get
me wrong I realize that baby talk is Fun and usually puts a smile on the face
of the one expressing it. But THAT is ALL it does. In fact it is my belief that
baby talking to your young child can actually cause more harm than good. This
writing will go over the value in not just being honest with your children and
family but looking at every conversation as a learning opportunity for you and
your child and or family.
At birth your child is a fleshy
version of Johnny 5 from short circuit. By that I mean all they want is INPUT.
Like little computers fresh out of the box they are full of capabilities. But
like that same computer fresh out of the box they require the Software
(Knowledge) do be able to utilize those capabilities. You wouldn’t
intentionally load defective or in any way Broken or incorrect software would
you? The same should be said for the programming (Teaching, raising) your
child. You might be thinking oh well it’s just all in fun, my cute awesome
little child sounds so cute the way he or she says that word. When smiling and
laughing is the result we sometimes forget that he or she is “Learning” so when
she or he says that word in that incorrect,, funny, or cute way, it’s a little
deeper than you realize. You see that little computer is doing a lot more than
just saying a funny sounding word. The child is first of attempting to
communicate, a very important corner stone to human education. The child is
trying to convey a thought or idea. Even though when we baby talk we are
intending to make a smile. In some ways parents often feel that by baby talking
we are accommodating the fact that they are learning. But the child is trying
also to improve their ability to communicate. From the perspective of the child
your response solidifies whether or not they have succeeded. You see when they
say a word incorrectly they then look to the parent or other adult for
acceptance and approval. And when you respond with an excited smile,
phonetically. Repeating the dummy downed word they feel that is a success. Don’t
take this the wrong way, we are not talking about discouraging the child, when
you acknowledge that you understand the Idea, thought, or question the child is
trying to convey with that same excited smile you say the word correctly, the
child is just as happy. Now you have acknowledged what the child was correct
about in the statement and also taught the child the Correct way. No this
little computer full of excitement has successfully communicated; the child has
learned a little more which is appreciated making the child happier. As you
grow with your child this will build a bond of trust as well. The subconscious retains
a lot of info, and instead of spending years teaching your child something that
you will expect them KNOW is wrong only a couple years later can undermine
trust. However being straight and realizing that your child is ALWAYS learning
will remove that question and solidify that mom or dad can be trusted. This
touches on the little white lies, something that will be covered in depth
later. All the benefits to Not “Baby Talking” to your child are all equally
important, for me this next benefit was the reason I wouldn’t baby talk. This
was the reason I explained to my family not to baby talk my children. As was
stated before our children are like little computers. Searching all day for
input. Now early in life there is much we do not understand, we are learning. From
birth we are learning, we learn facts, ideas, Processes, and everything else in
our lives. When I child asks a question for instance “why does it get Dark at
night” there are many different ways a parent might answer this question. I
would answer it starting out with, “well the world we live in is actually a
Ball, and like our world the sun is a ball. Our world is spinning so half the
time the light from the sun shines on half of the ball while the other half
remains in darkness, so right now do you think our part of the world is facing
the sun or facing away from it? That may seem like an extreme example but it’s
not. Even if the child is too young to understand you have filled its mind with
facts that are now there and ready as the child’s brain acquires even more
input as life goes on. You have also just intrigued the child, we have no idea
what wonderful or weird ideas the child had previous to asking this question
but now the child’s mind is filled with more wonders to consider and learn. It
was my experience doing this with my children that in most cases doing this as
the example above would start a discussion that would last from 2 minutes to
several hours. These resulting discussions you have the child’s intrigue and
complete attention, and again even if they can’t understand it all their minds
are absorbing the facts and information and the brain can retrieve and compare
this information at a later date. I argued this with my family when my children
were toddlers; however it wasn’t long until they got older and consistently amazed
their teachers and people around them as the stock piles of years’ worth of
information come pouring out increasing the problem solving capabilities. I’m
still amazed as my children become teenagers when I can see this take place.
This also takes us back to one of the earlier benefits, Trust. Both consciously and subconsciously the brain
associates the early information learned from you is still correct later in
life. But every time the brain has to overwrite your basically have to change
it makes a note that information was unreliable. Let’s compound that figure all
the childish answers and Baby talk statements made in a day times 365 days
times several years, there will be a LOT incorrect information that needs to be
changed. That takes up effort and time, where as if the correct response were
given in the first place instead of correcting wrong ideas the child would be
standing Proud on a foundation of trust with a bank of information confident
that it is correct. The ladder situation is the starting point for problem
solving whereas the baby talk is a great starting point for confusion. Yes it
really means that much when your child reaches out or speaks to you they are
engaging you to learn about this world it is actually quite rude when you think
about it to give back a childish response. The child isn’t smiling because of
the Baby Talk, they are smiling because you are, they are smiling because you’re
engaging them and they love you, they are smiling because they are too young to
realize that you’re not taking them seriously and are misleading them to believing
they have accomplished something they haven’t.
The idea here is not to know
everything but share the real knowledge you have. Answer the questions they ask
as completely and thoroughly as possible. You never know what statement you
make that will spark their imagination so send them all you can. Saying words
the cute way actually delays their learning. They want to sound like you, show
them how. Pronounce the words correctly and be proud when your child astounds
you to how quickly the ability to communicate grows not just the child but the
whole family.
There
are always questions we don’t for one reason or another we don’t want to
answer. Do Not Lie to your family. Again this is one of those things people
believe can’t be avoided. But it can and it is easy once you realize TWO
things. One Love and Trust go hand in hand, don’t lie to those you love. And Two
you don’t have to answer every question, by that I mean it is completely ok to
say “I don’t feel you would understand so I’m not going to answer that right
now.” Or “ There are times and places for everything and we will go over this
at another time” or “ Honey some things you have to wait until you’re a little
older, I’m proud of you and yes you are very smart now, but something can only
be understood with experience. I have done this and Believe it or not it
quickly becomes accepted. By accepted I mean the children learn that, that is
the end of that question for now, and it builds trust. You are teaching the
child One, that you are honest and will refuse a response before deceiving the
child, (Which shows the child that you value your word, and that you respect
them and their ideas. Two it teaches them to be honest even when it may seem
difficult, and children learn by imitating those in the surrounding area they
look up to. Would you rather give them an Honest role model, or teach them Very
early on to lie when it makes the situation easier?
Follow this link for more help on words that bring a family together. Learn how to raise your children without your kids telling you No.
http://healthyhumanhabitslifeplant.blogspot.com/2015/06/say-yes-to-life-one-simple-way-to.html
Tips
to a Happy Healthy Home
How
to teach my son or daughter to talk
Using this technique proved its value when my son and I made this
